Reflections and Resolutions

Here I sit, sipping cheap (but delicious) champagne, lost in yet another attempt to revive what once was not only a hobby, but a source of excitement and a quest to achieve what many have categorized as an unattainable dream. It was nearly five years ago that I began Just Keep Writing. That fact, in itself, if almost difficult for me to comprehend. So why has is been so difficult for me to pick up where I left off? Since I began this blog, I've written a song...or two...or a hundred. I've lost count. I met my first official cowriter, who gave me my first cut and my first airplay. He later pitched one of our tunes to Jake Dodds, who makes my wildest dream come true every night he plays one of our songs on stage. I faced my fears, stepping in front of a Nashville crowd, and playing in my first writer's round. Then, last year, I made the decision to pursue a graduate degree, researching and developing a business plan for a music publishing company (Plans which have, for the moment, been sidelined, but I may pursue my publishing endeavors at some point in the future). Learning about the business side of the industry was invigorating, and it helped me to realize how much I truly love music, regardless of my lack of experience, knowledge, or formal training.  This year, I was blessed to be able to play a few of my songs for my Grandmother and my Great Grandfather, before they received their promotion to the heavens. Then, several months ago, some long suppressed feelings were realized and acknowledged, and the man who first gave me the opportunity to spread my songwriting wings became my worser half.

In stepping back for a moment, I realize how different things would have been if I had not created the Just Keep Writing challenge. I would've still written some songs here and there, but, seeing that I am very goal oriented, it gave me a needed push, encouraging me to develop my craft. If I had not published this blog, Layton James may not have responded to my email, asking for the opportunity to meet with and learn from him. If I hadn't met him, I may have met Jake, but only as a fan. If I were a fan watching him perform on stage, I would never have been confident enough to ask him for the opportunity to pitch a song or two. If I didn't create Just Keep Writing, I may have penned a lyric or two, but I would not have written a song that I deemed of enough quality to perform in Nashville, or even in front of my family. I would have never been blessed with the memory of sitting in a hospital room, singing to Great Grandpa George, and listening to the stories about when he was a drummer in his younger years. I may have still pursued a graduate degree, but my capstone project would not have been an assignment that I looked forward to working on every day. If I hadn't started this blog, I wouldn't be sipping champagne in Layton's apartment, waiting for him to get off work so we can spend the last night of 2015 watching a Harry Potter movie. 

A lot of my writer's block for this blog has been the result of feeling like I've already accomplished the things that I set out to do. Is there even a reason to continue Just Keep Writing? I have been conflicted, trying to decide whether I should archive my lyrics and delete the blog. But, sitting here, looking back on all that has come as a result of what many probably thought was a silly little challenge, composed merely of the ramblings of an amateur, a rookie, a wannabe...I can't help but wonder what could come from continuing the blog. 

Therefore, I resolve to, once more, commit to the Just Keep Writing challenge. I will continue to post some lyrics, personal reflections, opinions, hopes and dreams.  Why? Because if a silly little challenge that began nearly five years ago led me to some of the happiest moments of my life, I can't wait to see what a continuation of the blog will bring me in the future.

The Damn Boat Song

As I lay here wide awake at two in the morning (three in the morning according to Indiana time and my internal clock), I'm waging an ongoing battle in my head...with a song. This song shall herein be referred to as "The Damn Boat Song". Let me tell you about the boat song. As I sit here looking at the lyric sheet, I realize that this song has been on my plate for almost two months. This song has been my baby. This song has driven at least one of my co-writers nuts because I haven't shut up about it (but since we have started dating, I'll file that one under "boyfriend duties". Sorry sugar. ).
I've typed the lyrics on my computer, on my iPad, written them in multiple notebooks, and scribbled them out on post-its at work. Why? Because I'm super pumped about it!! It's fun! It's upbeat! It's probably the most "commercial" idea that I've had in a while! It's a song that I can almost hear a bunch of people singing along to at a bar! It's The Damn Boat Song! Boom!

But...as I have the lyrics pulled up once more (just hammered out some funky lines by the way), and as my 2 AM/3 AM mind is reeling, The Damn Boat Song is, shall we say, speaking to me? Yes, I'm still excited about it, but The Damn Boat Song has taught me something about writing....or I'm way too tired to be blogging, but stay with me here!

The Damn Boat Song...it's not even about a boat. Nope, it's not even about a boat. Now, I'm not going to go into detail about the song and spoil the big reveal when y'all hear it on the radio for the first time (Luke...have your people call my people. We can make this happen.), but what does The Damn Boat Song represent? Just like The Damn Boat Song isn't about a boat, maybe, sometimes, songwriting isn't really about the song? Oh snap! What did she just say?

Don't close your browser tab! I know, a song is the desired outcome. We are all chasing that dream cut (I'm not chasing though...I'm serving it up on a silver platter. Luke, seriously. Your people. My people. And I don't have people, so we can cut out the middleman formalities and you can email me, I'll drop you my digits, and we will have it cranked out for your 2016 summer anthem....as long as Jake Dodds doesn't call dibs). But, as I timed out the beats for the demo tonight, caught in a rip tide of excitement, frustration, and anxiety, I couldn't stop smiling. In all reality...the odds of this song making it anywhere are slim (Luke, I can be reached on Facebook. I'm on Twitter. My email link is somewhere on this blog. Well, just Email me here ). Jake may not even like it. But...The Damn Boat Song really isn't about The Damn Boat Song. It's about the dream. It's about the rush. It's about being passionate. Too many times, as a writer, I feel like I, personally, get caught up in the outcome. I forget about the process. Let me tell you, The Damn Boat Song has been a process. But, just as I like sitting by a lake, wetting a line...while catching a big one would be pretty sweet, fishing is about the process. It's about gathering my gear. It's about driving out to my lucky spots. Hiking the shoreline. Baiting my hooks. Casting, hoping, praying, and catching some rays. It's about turning on some tunes and singing along because I don't give a hoot about who hears me. It's about sipping some sweet tea, reflecting on recent events, and the excitement you feel when the bobber starts to wobble.  It's about catching the 4" bluegill that isn't even big enough to be bait.  Because, one day, you'll land a 16" mystery fish (Yeah, still have no idea what I caught a few weeks ago. I've googled pics and nothing that has been suggested really looks like it. But it was big).

Maybe I'm so excited about The Damn Boat Song because it could be my mystery fish? (Come on Luke. Or Jake Owen? That might work too? Oooo, how 'bout Luke featuring Jake? Or Jake featuring Luke? Omigod, boys, let me blow your mind. Jake Dodds, featuring Luke Bryan and Jake Owen! There we go boys! Platinum. Hit. Collaboration of the year. 2016 CMAs, here we come! *Drops Mic*) Maybe The Damn Boat Song won't be big enough to be bait. But there is one thing that The Damn Boat song has been. It's been two months of  determination. It's been a reminder that, regardless of the outcome, I need to keep the process in mind. The excitement. The thrill. The rush. The joy that songwriting has brought me. That's what I fell in love with. And that is what will keep me pushing forward.